If you read nothing else, start here.
These aren’t necessarily the best written pieces. They’re the ones that stayed. The ones I couldn’t ignore once I’d written them. The ones that felt a little too honest to leave buried. Some of them contradict each other. That’s kind of the point.
You can find my other pieces in the Journal.
I believe I’m unlovable so I act like it
“I am not worthy of love therefore everything I have written above is a pointless endeavour and should be deleted.”
This is what it looks like when a thought sits quietly in the background long enough to start shaping everything. I didn’t realise I believed it until I saw the pattern.
Read here > I believe I’m unlovable, so I act like it
The problem with feeling okay
“I don’t think I trust happiness right now to let it linger. I don’t think I believe I am deserving of it.”
A piece about not trusting peace to stay, and what it means to sit in something that isn’t chaos but doesn’t feel safe either.
Read here > The problem with feeling okay
Irreversible
“Fear was stopping me from rewriting the story. Now fear is the thing keeping me going because I no longer want to go back.”
A piece about the moment a life changes in a way that can’t be undone.
Read here > Irreversible
If I’m Not Sad
“But sadness feels like the only thing that is keeping me together. Living in this space for so long has meant these are the pillars of who I am and if I remove them then will I collapse within myself with nothing to hold me up?“
What happens when you’re not falling apart anymore… but you don’t quite know who you are without it? This is less about sadness, and more about what comes after it.
Read here > If I’m Not Sad
Becoming, Lucy 