Becoming, Lucy

I wasn’t going to post this because it’s so raw. I wrote this less than 12 hours after finding out he had passed. There’s no reflection here, no neat resolution. Just disbelief, love and the ache of wanting the world to stop, even for a moment. Writing is the only way I know how to breathe sometimes… And that’s okay.

You left us yesterday.
It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.

I don’t remember the last time I saw you.
I wish I’d held you longer,
told you I loved you more.

All I can think about is the pain,
how alone you must have been
in those final minutes.
Fuck.

Why doesn’t time pause?
Why doesn’t life pause?
Why is everyone still continuing?

I don’t want to continue.
I just need time to stop,
for a moment.

I miss you.
I love you.