Becoming, Lucy

A realisation I had yesterday…

I started at the front
I started strong,
with hope,
a steady pace.

I walk the road with others,
surrounded by familiar faces.
Faces that are comforting,
encouraging.

The road is hard,
I have fallen behind.
I’m being held back,
something is holding me back.

Familiar faces pass me by,
smiling, 1, 2, 3.
My hands are getting full,
my shoulders are dropping.

I’m tired,
my body is tired.
My hands hurt,
they’re burning,
red and blistering.

Are your hands red and blistering?

There’s no one there.

So many people in front of me,
How did I get to the back?

They’re walking so freely,
each step light, easy.
Their hands are
empty.

I feel stuck,
I feel tired.
I’m carrying so much,
they don’t look back,
I’m left behind.

Why are their hands empty?
My hands are full.
Red, blistering,
full.

I should let this go,
my hands are full,
I can’t let them down,
I can’t put this down.

I’m stuck.