Becoming, Lucy

A calling.

It has been on my mind for a month now.
I saw a video from one of my favourite creators, not knowing their calling,
I realised I don’t know mine.

I have never known what I was meant to do.
Where I am supposed to go.
Who I’m supposed to be.

I feel so lost.

But also not at all.

I’m not sure what that means.
Life just kind of feels like…
Groundhog Day.
Repeating.
No true purpose.

I’m an imposter everywhere.
Right now.
Alone.
I’m an imposter.

What’s my purpose?
Am I even meant to have one?
Am I simply just a being put on this world because two people created me?

Some people have clear purpose.
To make history, to research, to be a mother, a father, to make a difference.
But what about me?
Am I really here just to exist?

Maybe I’m just a mistake. An accident.
No purpose. No calling. Just a being.

I should take that and run.
No calling means I am free.
Free to explore.
Free to be whoever I want to be.
Free to discover.
Free to live.

But there has to be more to this life than just living it.