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Category: diary-entry
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I burnt myself in the shower today.Not by accident.I got in and turned it up.Slowly.Gradually.It got to the perfect temperature.Then I asked what if I kept going,so I did.When the water touched me next,I couldn’t feel it.It was so hot, it was cold.Numb.My skin felt fine.But underneath the surface,it screamed.I wondered if it was a…
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I’ve been listening to a lot of NF recently… I know, that tells you a lot about where my head and heart is at. Not sure what I’m to say about that, or why I felt the need to share. I needed to write tonight – I have nothing to write about but everything is…
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A calling. It has been on my mind for a month now. I saw a video from one of my favourite creators, not knowing their calling,I realised I don’t know mine. I have never known what I was meant to do. Where I am supposed to go. Who I’m supposed to be. I feel so…
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I have rewritten this starting sentence about twenty times. I’m just not sure what I want to say and that summarises my week. The truth is I’ve been busy working on evenings, overwhelmed and exhausted from the day so I’ve been too disassociated and tired to really focus on writing at the times I usually…
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I’m just not sure today. I need to write because the thoughts feel like they are stacking up again (it has only been two days since I last wrote) but I’m not sure what I want to write about or what I need to write about. I feel like I’m waiting for something to happen…
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I couldn’t write last night. I didn’t feel as though I had anything to say which is funny because I spent the whole day with the giggles. I spent the whole day catching myself laughing over absolutely nothing which is such a contrast to how I’ve been recently with this ache, the pull in my…
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I just turned the music up in my headphones to avoid feeling, to stop thinking. Of course it didn’t work, the thoughts just got louder. They don’t want to be silenced now that I understand them. My head and heart are finally speaking the same language and they refuse to be silenced. This isn’t something…
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So this week I wrote about not really being ready for the end of the year or ready to close that chapter of my life yet – how I feel like I’m still searching for something else but having no idea what it is I’m searching for. I’m still clueless sadly. This won’t be a…
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I’m floating freeBut the waves keep trapping me Waves are supposed to move as oneBut the waves are fractured Waves surround meComing at me from all anglesCrashing into meWave after wave I can’t breatheBut I’m floating,Free I’m not going under I’m floating I’m breathing Free If I trust the water, I can just be I can…
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Recently I have been lost – feeling alone, numb, quiet, tired. Protecting myself (I think) from processing, from truly feeling my emotions. I’m not sure what gave me the push to process again or when and why I suddenly felt safe enough to do so but this week was that turning point. Thank god. I…
Becoming, Lucy 