Category: diary-entry
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The scariest thing about change is that it’s irreversible. You probably read that twice. Or maybe a handful of times. Or even just stared at it and spiralled, if you’re anything like me. My initial thought was ‘nothing is irreversible’ but… I couldn’t think of a single situation. Literally speaking, you can turn a light…
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Okay. I’m going to say it. The term grief is weird. An umbrella term to describe a complex mix of emotions that come with losing something or someone – because it’s not just sadness is it? It’s anger, laughter, emptiness, loneliness, happiness. And what’s even weirder? Grieving something you’ll never know could’ve been real. I’m…
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I’m currently going through a period of big change in my life and with it there’s a quiet hope – a hope for happiness. Which is weird. Because I don’t know who I am if I’m not sad and I’m not sure if I want to know the happy version of me. I would say…
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I climbed a mountain today.There was no view waiting for me.There was no relief when I reached the top.Instead I asked,What now? Now. I feel stuck here.There’s no way down.There’s only up.Still. I thought I reached the top.Turns out, there’s more. The air around me is suffocating.Maybe I could justJump.Off the edge. I can’t see…
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Today I did something scary. I admitted to a friend I wanted to be a writer. And here I am admitting it again. It’s a big day for becoming Lucy. When I admitted it, I was instantly reminded of something I saw the other day – if you want to be something, but already do…
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Lately I’ve been noticing my patterns and how I respond to certain things, specifically around being supported and being seen. I crave being seen. It has taken a lot of internal work to realise that is what I want, what I need. I find myself seeking it in people I love, in people I know…
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I burnt myself in the shower today.Not by accident.I got in and turned it up.Slowly.Gradually.It got to the perfect temperature.Then I asked what if I kept going,so I did.When the water touched me next,I couldn’t feel it.It was so hot, it was cold.Numb.My skin felt fine.But underneath the surface,it screamed.I wondered if it was a…
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I’ve been listening to a lot of NF recently… I know, that tells you a lot about where my head and heart is at. Not sure what I’m to say about that, or why I felt the need to share. I needed to write tonight – I have nothing to write about but everything is…
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A calling. It has been on my mind for a month now. I saw a video from one of my favourite creators, not knowing their calling,I realised I don’t know mine. I have never known what I was meant to do. Where I am supposed to go. Who I’m supposed to be. I feel so…
Becoming, Lucy 