Becoming, Lucy

Today. Today has been weird. I want to say it has been hard but it hasn’t – it’s just hard right now. My cat has gone missing and I’m feeling guilty because I didn’t realise he was missing until this evening when I think he has been gone since this morning. Trying not to think about that too much right now or this whole diary entry will just be me spiralling about my naughty cat. Have an indoor cat, it’s safer they said… Until you leave the door open for a moment too long and they go explore.

Anyway, what a long week. Work has been unproductive for me, my to do list has gotten bigger each day with very few tasks ticked off. Sleep has not come easy each night

I wanted to write about my Friday, about my week but I’m just complaining and I hate it. I hate every word coming out of my mouth. I’m anxious. I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. I’m… I don’t know what I am. But I do not want this whole diary entry to be me just going on about what has sucked this week. In fact, I don’t even feel like writing honestly. I think i need a cry. I don’t know what I need.

After sitting and staring at my screen for five minutes, I think I’m just going to let this entry sit. Messy and honest. No reflection, no resolution. Maybe that’s the way my week needed to end.