Becoming, Lucy

I was never meant to live this long and now I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with my life.
People want me to plan for a future that’s five, ten years ahead. But I can barely see tomorrow.

I don’t have a single thing planned out. I can’t imagine the future. It all feels fake. Like hope. 
Hope isn’t something people like me get to have. 

Why hope when tomorrow I’ll make sure I burn it all to the ground? I am my biggest obstacle after all. Destroyer of all things good.

I am a fraud wrapped up in survivors clothing.
Look twice and you’ll see.