recent posts
about
Category: diary-entry
-
Hi Me, Today was boring. You know I keep wanting to say my life is boring but it isn’t – it’s ordinary. I say boring because it’s not filled with loads of activities, news or gossip like you see all these influencers on TikTok or YouTube or on all the other countless social platforms. I…
-
I have been unsure on how to continue writing when I hit a slump because the truth is, I still have too many thoughts that need to come out but I’m just unsure on how to verbalise them or no one to discuss them with… Which makes me sound lonely as fuck but I promise…
-
I’m not sure what to write about today… I wanted to do a journal entry or focus on a topic. And I did – I wrote about being grown up/mature for your age but it just feels… Wrong. It feels wrong just to continue life when someone else’s stopped so suddenly. I know if I…
-
I wasn’t going to post this because it’s so raw. I wrote this less than 12 hours after finding out he had passed. There’s no reflection here, no neat resolution. Just disbelief, love and the ache of wanting the world to stop, even for a moment. Writing is the only way I know how to…
-
I don’t even know how to start this entry. What a weird and horrible week. Was my mood dropping constantly last week just foreshadowing what was to come? I had to ‘force’ myself to be happy last week, to find happiness – more than once. Was my cat escaping then coming back at night his…
-
Grief has a strange way of softening the world. Everything looks the same, everything stays the same but it all feels wrapped in something heavier. A fog that makes you ache for warmth. I keep reminding myself that even in all that heaviness, there is still beauty. The mark he left is still here. Fog…
-
I wrote this in the first few hours after losing someone I loved deeply. A conversation with something I don’t understand but keep being forced to face. Death. You’re a cruel friend. I’ve thought about you, a lot. I know you’ve thought about me too. But you never come for me, do you? You go for the ones I…
-
Today. Today has been weird. I want to say it has been hard but it hasn’t – it’s just hard right now. My cat has gone missing and I’m feeling guilty because I didn’t realise he was missing until this evening when I think he has been gone since this morning. Trying not to think…
-
Everything was grey today. The sky. The cars.Even my coffee looked grey. It tasted grey too, the barista forgot the caramel. My tasks at work were grey. Too much paper. Today has felt uninspiring. I’ve poured a lot out emotionally recently. I think my brain and body are resetting. I hope I can find some colour in my evening. I found…
-
Today I needed warmth, I needed to be held. I didn’t have anyone for that so I had to be that for myself. So I sat and reflected… I carry a lot quietly – nothing big, nothing hard but like a friend of mine says, everyone’s pain is maximal to them. I still show up,…
Becoming, Lucy 