Becoming, Lucy

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Category: diary-entry

  • Half Finished Note

    Tired Tired of pretending Tired of smiling Tired of being Tired of work Tired of hoping Tired of being present  So tired

  • When I Can’t Find The Words

    I struggle to articulate my thoughts sometimes. Often. I can feel the words on my tongue or like a static in my chest,but I cant tune into the frequency. It’s frustrating,It spills out as tears,or as anger. 90% of the time it’s tears. Since I started journaling,letting the words fall out of me, I have…

  • The Joke’s On Me

    I’m laughing at myself. I started this blog so I had somewhere to write, somewhere to pour out my thoughts from my overthinking brain, and told myself it might make someone else feel less alone. The joke is on me. I’m putting my thoughts on the internet so I feel less alone. What a silly…

  • Thank You For Staying, Demons

    I tried writing a letter to my past self today. I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t that it felt too emotionally hard or it physically hurt, it was the fact I had nothing to say. I wanted to tell her that she was strong and she isn’t alone but when I think back to her,…

  • Here

    Wrote this right after my diary entry… I needed it out of me. Feeling. Feeling isn’t hard. We all feel. I feel so far apart. I am not here. I am there. Where is there? Not here. I am not. I am not. I am. Here. Here. No. There. Let me be here. Let me…

  • Dear Diary, I have nothing to say…

    Dear Diary, It’s cold today. I don’t feel as though I have much to say. It has been an average Saturday. Storm Amy wasn’t as bad as they made out it was going to be (at least not where I am, I hope everyone else is safe and well) so I managed to get out…

  • My Brain Feels Heavy

    I have thoughts. Don’t we all? Ha. No. I mean, so many. So many thoughts that I can’t hear them or see them or make sense of them. The overwhelm is too much. I want to feel. I want something to bring me joy, to feel a surge of, I’m presuming dopamine is what my…

  • Rediscovering The Emo Girl I Buried

    I listen to music. A lot of music. You will find me with headphones on 75% of the time, which doesn’t sound much but I am a mother first, so when I’m looking after my boys, I can’t wear my headphones (I wish). But honestly, even when I’m with my boys, we have music in…

  • The Clouds Gave Me An Existential Crisis

    In September I took a train, I saw a cloud and it caused words to fall out of me, which then of course made me freak out. These are the words that left me: “Clouds floating by themselves, is that just what 20s are – the loneliness. Surrounded by other clouds but literally in the…

  • The Window

    I can see in. I can feel everything. But I can’t reach you. I can’t help you. Let me help you. Let me carry this for you. Won’t you let me? You will let me. But I can’t reach you. I’m watching from the other side. Can you see me? Can you hear me? Can…